WiFi hell will be unleashed on Londoners by June 2012 | Wifi Walker, J B Chaparal Properties

WiFi hell will be unleashed on Londoners by June 2012

HELL ON EARTH will be unleashed on users of the London Underground by Mayor Boris Johnson, who clearly does not want to be re-elected.

The INQUIRER readers who don’t live in London can now begin to laugh, because after what the underground’s management company, Transport for London (TFL), laughably calls a “successful trial” of WiFi at the Charing Cross Station, the wireless technology will be rolled out across 120 stations across the city by June 2012.

The Charing Cross trial, which started in November last year, involved BT Openzone. It found that over half of the passengers surveyed thought WiFi access would “make their experience of using the Tube better”.

Considering the huge number of tourists that are in London at any one time, The INQUIRER can only assume that none of these people actually live in London. And so they won’t have to pay for it because it is going to be paid for out of local taxes. Like a large chunk of the Olympics.

In its harbinger of impending doom TFL says, “A contract will be awarded to the chosen bidder by the end of 2011… passengers will be able to log on to the internet from their laptops or mobile devices at stations before the 2012 Olympic [games].”

What this fails to mention is the number of people who will use voice over IP (VoIP) to make phone calls via this WiFi network. While the WiFi will not available on the trains, it will be on the platforms and above ground station areas.

This will still condemn London‘s commuters to a constant barrage of inane, shouted comments such as, “I’M ON THE TUBE” or “I’M STUCK AT THE PLATFORM, YES, SIGNALLING PROBLEM, NO NOT PASSENGER ACTION.”

However there is still time to stop this tragedy. Under Johnson’s insane plan, 16 stations will get the service in a first phase. Hopefully the full harsh reality of WiFi and VoIP calling in the London underground will clearly become so unbearable that a sharp public backlash will stop it in its tracks, pun intended. A terrorism scare will work equally well.

Of course the TFL statement gives the real reason for this WiFi network, as it burbles, “WiFi services are a potential future revenue source.” But instead of simply stating the truth, Johnson continues to show how divorced he is from reality in his aristocratic, Oxbridge Bullingdon club laddish world, and says, “[During the Olympics] even Londoners going underground will be able to keep up to date with the British medal tally at the 2012 Games.” µ

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